Mother Daughter Counseling: Best Therapy For Relationships 2021

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The relationship between a mother and her daughter is a beautiful yet complex relationship. The mother-daughter relationship is an emotionally strong bond, however, when two women are involved, unexplained friction builds up. And, this relationship is not an exception to that. When there is a conflict, both the mother and child must work together and meet in a middle ground.

Boundaries need to be set and feelings must be heard. However, it may not be as easy as it sounds, especially when there is a conflict in the family. For that, the best thing you could do is to take up mother-daughter counseling. Here, not only a therapist helps you to heal[1], but they also make you realize a few things you could not. Therapy helps you reconnect with your daughter and set your house in order. 

Best Online Mother-daughter Therapy in (September. 2021)

How Therapy Works for Mother-daughter Relationships?

A typical woman is emotionally strong and healthy. However, when it comes to a conflict with their mother or daughters, they tend to be quite sensitive. After all, a mother loves their child unconditionally and daughters look up to their moms while growing up. So, a conflict between a mother and daughter is a tricky one. But hey, there is a solution to such challenging issues.

Mother-daughter counseling therapy is the way to go. The therapist will help you both work on your issues, internal conflicts, and ultimately establish the lost connection that helps you rekindle your relationship with your loved one. 

When you both go to the therapist, being open to changing your thought process is a must. Understanding each other and making up for the mistakes is the key. From a mother-daughter relationship therapy session, you can expect the following:

  • A particular focus on the challenging issues (i.e. verbal conflict, misunderstanding, or anger issues)
  • Active participation of the therapist in treating the main issue, rather than each person separately
  • Change-oriented and solution-focused tips
  • A clear roadmap of the treatment terms and objectives

The Line Up At A Glance

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Improving Difficult Mother-daughter Relationships

A mother-daughter relationship is quite complex and diverse. Some mothers and daughters talk every day, while some others may only talk once a week. Some may fight frequently, while others may behave in a passive-aggressive way to each other. To solve issues in any relationship, both parties need to listen to each other and address their concerns.  

If you are wondering how to heal a mother and daughter relationship, mother and daughter counseling helps in a great way. However, apart from that, you would also have to work emotionally, to fight your own personal issues. If you are trying to create a healing environment in your mother-daughter relationship, try to practice and follow these tips:

Find Common Interests

Spending time together helps mothers and daughters create an emotional connection. There are many things to try out with your mother/daughter. For example, you could go hiking with your mother/daughter, where you can discuss things that matter in your adult life together. Or, you can simply try doing some fun activities such as watching movies.

To do so, you would first discuss and explore each other’s interests. If you are a mother, try to find out your daughter’s interests. If you are a daughter, try asking your mom what she likes to do this weekend. Once you note down each other’s likings, try to indulge in those activities together where you can spend some healthy and quality time. 

Improve Communication

In any adult relationship conflict, miscommunication plays a major role. Typically, when a mother and her daughters have communication issues, the emotional gap tends to form between them. However, such issues are pretty common in any family. Identifying the issue and resolving it with empathy goes a long way.

To do that, both parties involved must start listening to each other and attempt to understand the other person. If only one person does all the work, the other might feel the emotional burden, which puts further strain on the mother and daughter relationship. So, try to communicate[4] your concerns properly to each other and offer support as well. 

Set and Maintain Boundaries

As you move into adulthood, you might want to keep some personal things to yourself, and it is absolutely natural. Especially, when you are angry, you would want your personal space to not be violated. In such stances, you could simply ask your mother/daughters to give you some personal time and space. And, that is only one out of many situations where boundaries help.

A simple boundary will prove to be more than good enough if communicated properly. Assess the history of your mother and daughter relationship and note down all the scenarios where boundaries would have helped. And then, communicate it with your mother/daughters so that your point makes sense to them as well. 

Work on Your Anger

Being angry makes you vulnerable to committing mistakes or saying mean things. By doing so, you may hurt the feelings of your mother/daughters and create a hostile environment in the family. Anger also deteriorates your healthy relationship[5] with your mother/daughters. More importantly, anger is not even good for self. 

So, if you are trying to rekindle your mother-daughter relationship, make sure you control your anger issues. It is more important if you fight quite often. Go back and look at the history of your relationship. Then, try to notice the situations that irritate you the most in life. Once you identify those patterns, you can gradually work on them, as it needs practice and conviction. 

Be More Forgiving

For healthy relationships between a mother and daughter, forgiveness has a key role to play[6]. When one person commits a mistake, the other must be able to forgive them. Develop the power of forgiveness to improve your life along with your mother’s or daughter’s as well. 

To do that, listening to the other women in the family and being empathetic is the way to go. This helps in nurturing a healthy relationship between you and your mother/daughter. When parents do that, automatically, their children follow the same path. 

Also, if you wish to be more forgiving, make sure you practice it in every walk of your life. This way, you condition your mind to be more kind and empathetic, which helps in restoring your relationship with your loved ones in the family. Forgiveness also helps you enhance self mental health too. 

Stick To The Present

Fights between mothers and daughters are pretty much common in all families. However, how you deal with that situation is very important. Never try to bring up the history of mistakes your mother or daughters have committed. This makes them feel belittled and insulted. When you are arguing with your family members, you need to be extra careful to not bring up regretful things.

In short, any mistakes of your mother’s or daughter’s must not be dug up and brought into the light, just because you are trying to make a point. This not only hinders the family relationship, but also makes the other person lose belief in a happy adult life around you. 

Mother and Daughter Counseling

Sometimes, it is better you take external support to help deal with internal issues within your family. A therapist will help you regain self-power to maintain a healthy adult relationship with your mom or daughter. Mother and daughter relationships counseling also makes you feel heard about the things you couldn’t express to your family members. 

Additionally, counseling also helps[7] in nurturing a realistic perception so that you can handle adulthood conflict either with your mother or daughters. This works the best when both mothers and daughters take the counseling together. Moreover, counseling can also help you focus on your mental health too. 

Things to Avoid In Mother-Daughter Relationships

For healthier mother-daughter relationships, you need to avoid several things that could harm your bond. Many women do not typically know such things, leading to fights in families, especially with other women. Anyhow, to solve such issues, here are some toxic patterns you need to avoid:

Do Not Be Dismissive

As a mother, it is your duty to be kind and supportive to your daughter, but not to be dismissive. Many women complain when they feel ignored by their mothers. The mother’s responsibility is to guide and support their children. So, make sure you put extra effort on that front. 

At the same time, it is also the daughter’s responsibility to show affection towards their mother. When both mothers and the children avoid being dismissive, the relationships will start to flourish. 

Mothers Should Not Be Controlling

This is a very common mistake most mothers commit. When they make their child feel controlled and restricted, it often creates an emotional gap between the two. Women feel depressed when they are being controlled by someone, especially in their families. It may even affect their mental health[8] as well.  

It is always better to show empathy and understand your young children, rather than dictate their terms. This is more important, particularly in your daughter’s early life. Try to be friends with your child and guide her with love. 

Do Not Be Unavailable

This is another complaint many women often make about their self-involved mothers. Your young kids need your availability, especially when they feel confused or depressed. However, when mothers become unavailable, it gives them a sense of loneliness. Do not be a self-involved mother, as it creates a gap between you and your young child. Kids hate it when their parents focus on themselves, neglecting the child’s emotional needs. Kids like to discuss things with their mothers, which they can’t share with their friends. So, try to be as much available as you can.

3 Best Mother-Daughter Therapies in 2021

BetterHelp

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If you are looking for virtual therapy to solve the conflict in your mother and daughter’s relationship, Betterhelp offers a great platform with thousands of qualified therapists. 

  • A large pool of licensed therapists with a minimum of 1000 hours experience.
  • Easier communication via website and mobile app
  • Therapy sessions via phone call, live chat, and video conference
  • Very affordable prices
  • Advanced therapist matching system
  • Option to change therapist anytime as you wish
  • Insurance plans do not cover BetterHelp therapy sessions

Since 2013, BetterHelp has been helping people with their counseling services. Over this period, they have helped more than 1.5 million users. The service itself has been rated very positively across multiple internet sources. Registration and getting onboard are very simple and user-friendly. All therapy sessions are protected by HIPAA[2]

The website has more than 12,000 licensed therapists. Moreover, they make sure that each therapist has at least 1000 hours of experience. As soon as you register yourself on the website, you will be presented with several questions. Once you answer them, they will match you with a therapist that potentially fits your personality.

To speak with your therapist, you can choose either a phone call, live chat, or even a video conference. The sessions are available via web interface and a mobile app too. Even if you and your daughter/mother lives far away from each other, BetterHelp can seamlessly help you, thanks to their online therapy sessions.

Talkspace

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If you are looking for online therapy to set your difficult mother-daughter relationship on track, Talkspace fits the bill. They have licensed and experienced therapists who are available round the clock to help you.

  • Easy and user-friendly interface
  • Available on both web and mobile
  • Licensed therapists with 3000 hours or more experience
  • Communication through different mediums such as phone calls and video messaging
  • Affordable monthly subscription options
  • Some insurance companies cover Talkspace sessions
  • No short-term subscription plans

Talkspace has been around the block since 2012, offering online therapy sessions. Every therapist at Talkspace is qualified, trained, and experienced, as the website only hires those with at least 3000 hours of experience. Their services are available via both a website and a smartphone app. 

Once you register yourself and answer the initial questionnaire, the website recommends several licensed therapists that fit your answers. You can then pick one and proceed with the therapy. By the way, after you join, they also offer a free introductory session so that you will get to know their working mechanism. You can message your Talkspace therapist 24/7, and they also promise a guaranteed response.

Sessions are done through different modes such as live chat, a phone call, or a video conference. Each user will be assigned a virtual private room with their therapist, to ensure your privacy. 

Online-Therapy.com

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The website is full of qualified and experienced therapists that specialize in CBT therapy. It also has excellent educational resources and worksheets to guide you and monitor your progress.

  • Therapy sessions via voice, video, and live chat
  • Therapists experienced in the CBT approach
  • Wide range of subscription payment options
  • All therapists possess experience of 2000 hours or more
  • User-friendly interface and simple registration process
  • No mobile app

Online-therapy.com has been in the business for more than a decade, since 2009, to be precise. Apart from offering therapy, they also provide excellent educational material on yoga and meditation as well. Users can book either audio or video sessions with their chosen therapist.

This website has a multitude of subscription plans, which includes a free one as well. Also, every new user gets a 20% discount their first month. Coming to the therapists, this website has a great and wide pool of qualified therapists that are quite experienced in offering healing therapy sessions to people. 

Moreover, the therapists at Online-therapy.com follow the CBT approach[3] to resolve your critical issues and help you better. You can also rewatch your previous sessions and make use of the “Test” section to track your progress. However, the only downside to this company is the nonavailability of a mobile app. 

Final Thought

No matter how often you fight with your mother or daughter, the relationship you both have is a precious and special one. So, you must try your best to avoid conflicts and focus on forming a stronger bond with her. If you are struggling to do so, seek help. There are many mother and daughter counseling websites that can help you solve your issues.

So, do not delay taking the action. Well, it may seem very difficult to gather all the dedication and put in some effort, but by the end of the day, it will be worth all the effort. After all, family comes first and everything else next. 

Frequently Asked Questions

Does mother-daughter counseling work?

Yes, it does. Therapy has helped many mothers and daughters rekindle their previous relationships. It is a scientific approach that is backed by many researchers and studies

Do counseling websites protect my privacy?

Yes. The websites we reviewed in this article are very secure and discreet. Your information rests safely on their servers. Moreover, they follow HIPAA guidelines as well.

Are counseling sessions free?

Some websites offer a free, introductory session. But, to achieve results, you would have to pay for the therapy sessions.

What can mothers do to improve their relationship with children?

Being supportive, kind, empathetic, and available helps. If you are still struggling, a therapist can help you improve your relationship with your daughter. 


+ 8 sources

Health Canal avoids using tertiary references. We have strict sourcing guidelines and rely on peer-reviewed studies, academic researches from medical associations and institutions. To ensure the accuracy of articles in Health Canal, you can read more about the editorial process here

  1. Ardito, R.B. and Rabellino, D. (2011). Therapeutic Alliance and Outcome of Psychotherapy: Historical Excursus, Measurements, and Prospects for Research. Frontiers in Psychology, [online] 2. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3198542/ [Accessed 24 Jun. 2021].
  2. ‌Nass, S.J., Levit, L.A., Gostin, L.O. and Institute of Medicine (US) Committee on Health Research and the Privacy of Health Information: The HIPAA Privacy Rule (2011). HIPAA, the Privacy Rule, and Its Application to Health Research. [online] Nih.gov. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK9573/ [Accessed 24 Jun. 2021].
  3. ‌Chand, S.P., Kuckel, D.P. and Huecker, M.R. (2021). Cognitive Behavior Therapy. [online] Nih.gov. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK470241/ [Accessed 24 Jun. 2021].
  4. ‌David-Barrett, T., Kertesz, J., Rotkirch, A., Ghosh, A., Bhattacharya, K., Monsivais, D. and Kaski, K. (2016). Communication with Family and Friends across the Life Course. PLOS ONE, [online] 11(11), p.e0165687. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5156499/ [Accessed 24 Jun. 2021].
  5. ‌Horwitz, B.N., Ganiban, J.M., Spotts, E.L., Lichtenstein, P., Reiss, D. and Neiderhiser, J.M. (2011). The role of aggressive personality and family relationships in explaining family conflict. Journal of Family Psychology, [online] 25(2), pp.174–183. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3142925/ [Accessed 24 Jun. 2021].
  6. ‌Maio, G.R., Thomas, G., Fincham, F.D. and Carnelley, K.B. (2008). Unraveling the role of forgiveness in family relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, [online] 94(2), pp.307–319. Available at: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18211179/ [Accessed 24 Jun. 2021].
  7. ‌Hurlburt, M.S., Garland, A.F., Nguyen, K. and Brookman-Frazee, L. (2009). Child and Family Therapy Process: Concordance of Therapist and Observational Perspectives. Administration and Policy in Mental Health and Mental Health Services Research, [online] 37(3), pp.230–244. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2877358/ [Accessed 24 Jun. 2021].
  8. Affrunti, N.W. and Ginsburg, G.S. (2011). Maternal Overcontrol and Child Anxiety: The Mediating Role of Perceived Competence. Child Psychiatry & Human Development, [online] 43(1), pp.102–112. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3358037/ [Accessed 24 Jun. 2021].

Written by:

Dr. Lakshmi Vemuri

Medically reviewed by:

Lakshmi Vemuri holds a bachelor’s degree in Dentistry. She is also a published author of several Food and Wellness books. Lakshmi has a profound interest in alternative medicines, various forms of physical exercise, mental health, diets, and new inventions in medical sciences. Besides being a dentist, Lakshmi is passionate about gardening and is an environmental enthusiast

Medically reviewed by:

PubMed Central

Database From National Institute Of Health

U.S National Library of Medicine
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