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Relationship Anxiety: Signs, Causes & 6 Ways To Overcome
Updated on
- Written by Amy Sowell, LPN
Medically reviewed by
Taylor Spruce, M.Ed
Relationship anxiety[1] can take a toll on anyone, making it difficult to connect with a partner and build a strong bond. While it’s a common issue, it can be challenging to overcome. Fortunately, steps can be taken to manage relationship anxiety and improve the bond with your partner.
When you’re experiencing relationship anxiety, it can feel like you’re alone in your struggles. However, it’s essential to know that many people experience relationship anxiety, a common issue that can be successfully managed.
Can You Overcome Relationship Anxiety?
Yes, you can overcome relationship anxiety. While it may take time and effort, improving the bond with your partner and reducing feelings of insecurity is possible. It’s important to remember that building a solid relationship takes work, and it’s okay to seek help when needed.
How To Deal With Anxiety In A Relationship
Overcoming relationship anxiety, including separation anxiety in a relationship, is crucial to building a healthy and fulfilling romantic relationship. We will explore below six effective ways to overcome relationship anxiety and develop a more secure attachment with your partner.
Identify Your Triggers
Identifying triggers[6] is essential in managing relationship anxiety. Stimuli can trigger anxious thoughts and feelings, such as certain situations, words, or actions. Common triggers for relationship anxiety include fear of abandonment, rejection, betrayal, and past traumas or negative relationship experiences.
It can be helpful to keep a journal of anxious thoughts and feelings to identify triggers and note any patterns or common themes. Paying attention to physical symptoms, such as tension in the body or increased heart rate, can also help identify triggers. Once triggers are identified, developing coping strategies to manage them is essential.
This may include practicing self-care activities, such as exercise or meditation, or engaging in positive self-talk to challenge negative thoughts. It may also involve setting boundaries or openly communicating about triggering behaviors or situations with a partner. Identifying triggers and learning to manage them can help individuals with relationship anxiety build healthier relationships and reduce feelings of anxiety and fear.
Communicate With Your Partner
Let your partner know your feelings and work together to find solutions. Communication is key in any relationship but essential when dealing with relationship anxiety. Communicating openly and honestly with your partner about your fears and concerns is vital. This can help to reduce stress and build trust and understanding.
It is important to note that while communication is helpful, reassurance seeking can be unhelpful when it comes to relationship anxiety. Reassurance seeking can often lead to your partner feeling insecure in the relationship, too, and unfairly puts the responsibility on them to alleviate your anxiety.
It is essential to express your feelings in a non-judgmental way and to listen actively to your partner’s responses. It may also be helpful to establish boundaries and expectations together. Couples therapy can be an excellent resource for improving communication and addressing relationship anxiety.
Practice Self-care
Relationship anxiety can take a toll on one’s mental and emotional well-being, which is why self-care is crucial. Self-care[7] involves taking care of oneself physically, emotionally, and mentally. It can include engaging in activities that bring joy, setting boundaries, getting enough sleep and exercise, deep breathing, and seeking support from friends and family.
For individuals experiencing relationship anxiety, it might be helpful to consider a relationship anxiety test as part of their self-care practice. Such a test can provide insights into specific triggers and areas of concern within the relationship, allowing individuals to address them constructively.
It’s essential to identify and prioritize self-care practices that work for you. This can include taking a relaxing bath, reading a book, practicing mindfulness or meditation, or engaging in a hobby. People who struggle with relationship anxiety often lack their own hobbies or friendships outside of the relationship, which can cause them to become overly-fixated on their relationship. Self-care can help reduce stress and anxiety, improve mood, and increase overall well-being.
In addition to individual self-care practices, engaging in self-care as a couple can also be beneficial. This can involve setting aside time for date nights, taking a weekend trip, or engaging in a shared hobby. Practicing self-care as a couple can help strengthen the relationship and provide support and comfort during anxiety.
Challenge Negative Thoughts
When you experience relationship anxiety, getting caught up in negative thoughts about your partner and your relationship is expected. These thoughts can create a cycle of worry and fear that can be difficult to break. One way to challenge negative thoughts[8] is to ask yourself if they are based on facts or assumptions. Our negative thoughts are often based on assumptions that may not be true.
Another way to challenge negative thoughts is to reframe them more positively. For example, instead of thinking, “My partner doesn’t care about me,” try reframing it as, “I feel like my partner may not be showing me enough attention right now, but I know that they love me and care about me.” It’s important to remember that challenging negative thoughts is a process and will take time and effort. However, with practice, you can learn to identify and challenge negative thoughts, which can help reduce anxiety and improve your relationship.
CBD Oil For Anxiety
CBD[9] is a natural and effective supplement that can help you to take control of your anxiety in a relationship. There are many ways to use CBD oil for anxiety, such as sublingually, vaping, and edibles. Read reviews on CBDfx and learn more about the best CBD oils for anxiety.
Seek Professional Help
If you’re struggling to manage relationship anxiety, it’s okay to seek help from a therapist or counselor. They can guide types of therapy and support in overcoming the issue. Therapy is a popular treatment option for relationship anxiety. A therapist can help individuals understand the root causes of their anxiety and develop coping mechanisms to manage their symptoms.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is one practical therapy approach. CBT helps individuals identify and challenge negative thought patterns contributing to their anxiety. It also involves exposure therapy, which gradually exposes individuals to their fears and helps them learn to tolerate discomfort. Other therapy approaches include psychodynamic therapy, which explores past traumas, and mindfulness-based treatment, which allows individuals to learn to be present and non-judgmental in their relationships.It is important to find a therapist experienced in interpersonal conflict and relationship anxiety and who you feel comfortable talking to.
With the help of a therapist, individuals can learn to manage their anxiety and build healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
What Is Relationship Anxiety?
Relationship anxiety is a feeling of insecurity or worry about the bond with your partner. It can manifest in different ways, including fear of abandonment, jealousy, and worry about the relationship’s future. While it’s normal to feel some level of anxiety[2] in a relationship, it becomes problematic when it interferes with the bond and causes distress, specifically if the anxiety does not seem to have an apparent cause. Relationship anxiety is a common yet often misunderstood phenomenon affecting people of all ages and backgrounds.
It is a type of anxiety specific to romantic relationships and can manifest in various ways, such as unrealistic notions of romance depicted by the media, comparing one’s relationship to others, obsessing over finding “the one,” accepting limited options in life, and more. Multiple factors can trigger this fear, including past traumas, low self-esteem, and attachment issues. People with relationship anxiety may also struggle with trust, communication, and intimacy, exacerbating their worries and anxieties.
Relationship anxiety symptoms[3] can include obsessive thoughts about one’s partner, fear of commitment, constant questioning of the relationship, and a sense of unease or discomfort when spending time with one’s partner. These symptoms can be highly distressing and can interfere with the ability to form and maintain healthy relationships.
It is important to note that relationship anxiety is not the same as healthy relationship concerns or doubts. While it is normal to have occasional worries in a relationship, relationship anxiety is characterized by persistent and overwhelming fears and anxieties that are difficult to control and have no apparent cause
Fortunately, various treatment options are available to handle relationship anxiety. Therapy can be effective in helping individuals identify and challenge negative thought patterns and develop more positive communication skills. Medication[4] may also help alleviate symptoms of anxiety disorders.
In addition to seeking professional help, several self-care strategies can help manage relationship insecurity. These may include practicing mindfulness, regular exercise, and engaging in activities that bring joy and fulfillment outside of the relationship.
Relationship Anxiety Symptoms
There are several signs of relationship anxiety that you may experience. These can include:
- Feeling insecure about the relationship.
- Constantly seeking reassurance from your partner.
- Constantly worrying about the future of the relationship.
- Fear of abandonment or rejection.
- Difficulty trusting your partner.
- Jealousy or possessiveness.
- Feeling like you need to be better for your partner.
Relationship Anxiety Causes
Relationship anxiety can have several causes[5], including:
- Past trauma or negative experiences in relationships.
- Insecurity or low self-esteem.
- Lack of trust in your partner.
- Lack of trust in yourself and your own judgment.
- Fear of rejection or abandonment.
- Fear of limited time to choose a partner.
- Perfectionism and fear of making a mistake in your choice of partner.
- Communication issues with your partner.
- External stressors, such as work or financial issues.
- Unrealistic expectations of romantic relationships.
- Comparing your relationship to others.
Understanding the underlying causes of your relationship anxiety can help address and manage the issue.
Conclusion
Relationship anxiety can be a challenging issue to overcome, but it’s possible with effort and dedication. By understanding the signs and causes of relationship anxiety, you can take steps to manage it and build a stronger bond with your partner. Remember to practice self-care, communicate openly with your partner, listen to your partner’s words, and seek help from a mental health provider. You can overcome anxiety and create a robust and healthy relationship with time and effort.
Frequently Asked Questions
Relationship anxiety is a feeling of pervasive worry or fear experienced in romantic relationships that can cause distress and tension.
Relationship anxiety can be caused by a variety of factors, such as past experiences, insecurity, fear of abandonment, or communication issues.
Some common signs of relationship anxiety include excessive worry or doubt about the relationship with no apparent cause, fear of being alone or abandoned, inappropriate jealousy and possessiveness, and feeling like the relationship is too good to be true.
Yes, relationship anxiety is a common feeling experienced by many people in romantic relationships.
Yes, relationship anxiety can be overcome with the right tools and techniques, such as therapy, communication, self-reflection, and building trust.
Ignoring relationship anxiety can lead to further distress and tension in the relationship, communication breakdown, and ultimately, the end of the relationship.
+ 9 sources
Health Canal avoids using tertiary references. We have strict sourcing guidelines and rely on peer-reviewed studies, academic researches from medical associations and institutions. To ensure the accuracy of articles in Health Canal, you can read more about the editorial process here
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- Munir, S. and Takov, V. (2022). Generalized Anxiety Disorder. [online] Nih.gov. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK441870/
- Zaider, T., Gross, J.J. and Iida, M. (2010). Anxiety disorders and intimate relationships: A study of daily processes in couples. [online] 119(1), pp.163–173. doi:https://doi.org/10.1037/a0018473.
- Bandelow, B., Michaelis, S. and Wedekind, D. (2017). Treatment of anxiety disorders. [online] 19(2), pp.93–107. doi:https://doi.org/10.31887/dcns.2017.19.2/bbandelow.
- Simpson, J.A. and W. Steven Rholes (2017). Adult attachment, stress, and romantic relationships. [online] 13, pp.19–24. doi:https://doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.04.006.
- ResearchGate. (2021). Figure 4 A diagram to show anxiety triggers and setting events,… [online] Available at: https://www.researchgate.net/figure/A-diagram-to-show-anxiety-triggers-and-setting-events-physiological-responses_fig3_349178841
- National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). (2022). Caring for Your Mental Health. [online] Available at: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/caring-for-your-mental-health
- Kelly, J.M. (2019). Your Best Life: Managing Negative Thoughts—The Choice is Yours. [online] 477(6), pp.1291–1293. doi:https://doi.org/10.1097/corr.0000000000000791.
- Blessing, E.M., Steenkamp, M.M., Manzanares, J. and Marmar, C.R. (2015). Cannabidiol as a Potential Treatment for Anxiety Disorders. [online] 12(4), pp.825–836. doi:https://doi.org/10.1007/s13311-015-0387-1.
Written by:
Amy Sowell, LPN
Medically reviewed by:
Medically reviewed by:
