Separation Anxiety In Adults: Symptoms & Treatment 2024

Separation anxiety is not something that affects only children, but can adults have separation anxiety? Yes, they can suffer from it, too, though their symptoms may look different. 

So what is separation anxiety in adults? Symptoms of separation anxiety in adults include feeling overwhelmed with worrying, difficulty sleeping or concentrating, and physical symptoms such as nausea or rapid breathing. It is essential to recognize these signs, because you can get help for this.
If you feel you need to know how to deal with separation anxiety in adults, or you would like to help someone with anxiety, the first step is to understand the symptoms and causes of separation anxiety disorder. With this knowledge, you can begin to take steps toward finding a workable management plan.

What Is Separation Anxiety?

Separation anxiety is an intense fear of being separated from a loved one or becoming estranged from them. In adults, it often manifests as^[1] inability to stay away from the person they are attached to, frequently being driven to talk to the attachment figure when separated, trouble sleeping, and fear of events that would keep them separated from the attachment figure, along with other physical symptoms of anxiety.

From the ages of one to three it is considered a normal part of early childhood as an adaptive mechanism^[1] that prevents children from straying too far from their parental figure. It becomes a disorder when it is prolonged or no longer helpful for healthy development.

While it might be normal to experience anxiety around separation, e.g., when a loved one is traveling for an extended period of time, there is a difference between missing someone and chronic separation anxiety disorder. If these feelings are intense, frequent, and prolonged, then it might be a sign of an issue that must be addressed. Adult separation anxiety disorder is prevalent and often goes undiagnosed.^[2] 

Why Does Separation Anxiety Disorder Occur?

So what causes separation anxiety in adults? Separation anxiety disorder — SAD — is often caused by a traumatic event in someone’s life, such as the death of a loved one, or an event that triggers feelings of insecurity or abandonment. It can also be linked to neurological issues such as autism^[3] and other mental disorders such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, panic disorder, and agoraphobia.

SAD can occur when a person has experienced a traumatic event in their childhood, but it can persist into adulthood. It could also develop first in adulthood because of an adult traumatic event. The true incidence, progression, and relationship of adult SAD with childhood SAD is not clear, as the psychiatric literature didn’t officially separate the two until 2013.^[4]  

Traumatic events could be anything from a death of a loved one, exposure to a dysfunctional family,^[5] to being placed in an unfamiliar environment away from a trusted caregiver. Some people may also have difficulty with change or transitions in life that can contribute to feelings of separation anxiety. The cause does not have to be a big event to cause trauma; it can be something simple that is perceived as traumatic. 

Symptoms Of Separation Anxiety In Adults 

According to the diagnostic and statistical manual, symptoms of separation anxiety^[6] disorder in adults may include: 

• Feelings of panic, dread, or extreme distress when separated from a loved one.
• Excessive fear of being alone or abandoned.
• Difficulty sleeping and/or nightmares about separation.
• Difficulty focusing on daily tasks due to worrying excessively about the person they are separated from.
• Symptoms common with other anxiety disorders such as headaches, stomachaches, and rapid heartbeat.
• Avoidance of people or situations that might lead to separation.
• Difficulty forming and maintaining relationships due to fear of being separated.

The disorder in adults differs from symptoms of normal childhood separation anxiety, which are:

• Crying, whining, or tantrums when separated from a loved one.
• Becoming clingy and unable to be comforted by anyone other than the person they are separated from.
• Refusal to go to school due to fear of separation.
• Nightmares about losing the person they are separated from.

The symptoms of childhood separation anxiety and the disorder differ based on severity, so the separation is vague and there is considerable overlap. 

Treatment And Management Options

How to treat adult separation anxiety and generalized anxiety disorder in adults includes both non-professional and professional help, the gold standard being cognitive behavioral therapy^[7] — CBT.

CBT is a therapy that focuses on identifying unhelpful thought patterns and behaviors so individuals can find healthier ways of thinking and behaving in difficult situations.

Some other forms of therapy for treating separation anxiety include:

Exposure therapy: This type of therapy^[8] gradually exposes an individual to what they fear, such as being separated from a loved one. Through gradual exposure, the individual learns how to manage their anxiety.

Relaxation techniques: Breathing and other relaxation techniques help individuals manage their stress levels^[9] in the moment. These techniques can also be used as a preventative measure to reduce anxiety before it even occurs.

Art therapy: Based on painting therapy, art therapy^[10] is a creative way to express feelings and emotions that may be difficult to talk about. It can help people gain insight into their thoughts and behaviors and understand how to cope with difficult situations.

Dialectical behavior therapy: DBT^[11] is a form of psychotherapy that focuses on helping individuals regulate emotions and challenge maladaptive thoughts and behaviors. It combines acceptance and change strategies to help develop new skills for managing stress, difficult emotions, and challenging situations.

Medication: This is sometimes recommended for adult SAD,^[7] usually selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, which work by increasing levels of serotonin,^[12] a neurotransmitter related to mood and behavior. Medication can help some people manage their symptoms more effectively, although it is not a cure.

Having a support network^[13] is also essential in managing anxiety-related disorders. This could be family members, friends, or even your therapist. Being able to talk with someone and share your feelings can help alleviate stress and provide relief from anxious thoughts.

The Takeaway

If you think you or someone you know is experiencing inappropriate separation anxiety, we recommend reaching out to a mental health professional for evaluation and treatment. Treatment often includes individual or family therapy sessions and possibly medications if the doctor recommends them. 

It’s important to remember that while separation anxiety feels like it might be taking over your life, it is treatable, and with the right help and support, it can be managed successfully.

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